Hey everyone!

Lots of great stuff to share with you all out there in internet land. First of all, it’s November and that means Movember has arrived! What is Movember? In a sentence, it’s a worldwide charity movement to raise awareness on men’s health by sporting a well-manicured mustache throughout the month. Some people also join a team to help raise money for prostate cancer research, and men’s health research in general. All proceeds go directly to the cause, and for more info on Movember, go here.

I have joined such a team, “The Ministry of Mustache Growth & Management,” which is made up of various comic book industry professionals throughout the country. Our goal is to raise $10,000 this year, and with 26 days to go, we’re already almost at $1800! If you have anything you can donate, even if it’s just $1, click the link below to help to our team and change the face of men’s health:

Andy’s MoSpace Donation Page

Thanks for your support! I’ll be updating that page throughout the month, showing off my killer ‘stache. Here I am all clean shaven on November 1st:

Speaking of comics, there are some cool new articles posted on ComicAttack.net. Check’em out:

Lastly, I’ve written a few more posts on TheHockeyWriters.com about the best hockey team in the NHL, the Buffalo Sabres! Ok, so at 6-5 they’re maybe not the best, but they’re definitely the most likeable. Am I right?

Patrick Kaleta

Check back soon for some new Movember pictures and other coolness!

I have a cool new blogging gig covering the Buffalo Sabres over at TheHockeyWriters.com!

Check out my archive

Here are links to the first two posts:

Be sure to visit the archive above frequently for more regular columns of Sabre Tactics, featuring exclusive photos by my friend, Micheline of SynergyMax!

Thursday night I caught the late bus home from Pasadena to Hollywood, and one stop into the journey an older gentleman sat next to me who used a method of sound control I hadn’t seen before. He ripped a cheap brown napkin in half and jammed it in his ears. At the time, I was playing this music video on my phone (more on that at a later date) so I wasn’t offended by this gesture. I may be quite partial to it, but that song certainly isn’t for everyone.

But to stick a napkin in one’s ears to tune it out? That’s just hilarious. So I snapped this photo.

Once the song was over the phone went into my pocket and I cavalierly said to the man, “The song is done, so you can take the napkins out of your ears if you want.” Without hesitating, the man turned to me.

“Oh, thank you,” he said matter-of-factly in a New York accent. “It’s also to keep out all this racket.” He gestured to the speakers on the bus, blaring obnoxious advertisements.

“Well, I can’t argue with you about that,” I said, motioning towards the napkins in his ears, “but I have to ask since I’ve never seen anyone do that before- why not use earplugs?”

With a smile, the man said, “My doctor tells me not to. They push the ear wax farther into my ear canal, so I don’t use them.”

“What does your doctor say about using napkins?”

The man chuckled. ”Well, I never asked him.”

I smiled. ”I recognize your accent. What part of New York are you originally from?”

“The Bronx. Although it’s not as strong as it used to be.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Before you were born, I’m sure.”

“I was born in 1984.”

He laughed, “Then yes, most certainly. I moved here a long time ago and never looked back.”

“Was it the weather? It sucks back East.”

“Yes it does. It’s terrible. It’s beautiful here,” he said.

“It is difficult to be upset about anything when you walk outside in the middle of February and it’s 70 degrees and sunny.”

“And no humidity.”

“That too.”

I admit, the last thing I expected was to begin a pleasant conversation with this gentlemen whom I believed to be pissing off upon his first sitting next to me. However, the flow of dialogue had other plans. After a handful of stops, the topic of discussion shifted to what we were both doing riding the 181 into Hollywood at 10pm on a Thursday. Turns out he’s a teacher of film history and cinematic movement at the art school near the comic shop I manage. Funny thing is, one of my regular customers works at that same school, and when I dropped his name, the man recognized it but couldn’t place it to a face. Still, small world, eh?

“So if you work out in Pasadena, why live in Hollywood?” I asked.

“Why live in Pasadena when everything else I do is out here?”

Damn good point. It’s the same reason I’ve stayed in Los Feliz since moving here in 2009. Everything one could want is in the area and it’s affordable. For Los Angeles standards, anyway.

“One thing I do miss from New York is the architecture,” I pointed out. He then went on to tell me of all the various buildings and art deco designs that exist throughout LA. I had no idea, and one day an excursion is in order to try and see a number of them.

“Do you take this route often?” I asked.

“God, no. I usually get a lift. The bus is Hell. Or as close to Hell as I want to get.”

No argument here.

At this point more than 40 minutes had passed and the neon lights of run-down motels on Hollywood Blvd. signaled my destination was quickly approaching. ”Well, this is my stop. It was nice talking to you. My name is Andy, by the way.”

“I’m Jay, and it was very pleasant speaking with you, too. Have a nice evening.”

“You too, Jay,” I said, exiting the bus.

Jay and I maintained a steady conversation throughout the entire ride. It goes to show sometimes you think you won’t get along with someone, but then a common thread is found and you’ve made a complete stranger into a happy acquaintance. Go figure.

On the brief walk home from the stop, I passed a homeless man I see multiple times a week since moving here, but have never spoken a word to. He’s a tall, scraggly bearded black man whom I’ve never seen shout, curse, or have a definable “crazy moment,” unlike many of the other homeless denizens of Hollywood. This evening he was hovering near the wall of an Aaron Brothers with his hands at his side, staring blankly at the street in front of him. Sticking with the night’s trend of talking randomly to strangers I said, “Hey man, you eat tonight?”

My words shook him from his trance. “Yeah, yeah,” he said in a gruff, but kind voice, awkwardly stepping around within a foot diameter. “I have my soda here,” he pointed to a half full plastic bottle resting on a window sill.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he smiled through chipped teeth and white-hot eyes, waving me on my way.

I’ll make it up to him one of these nights, and I’ll be sure to give him plenty of napkins.

Monday night while riding the Gold Line home from work, I decided to crack open a starter box of the old collectible card game, Galactic Empires, which I had happened upon through a fortuitous encounter at work. As I was shuffling through the near-decades old cards, engulfed in the crappy yet nostalgic artwork, a very elderly woman to my left with many wrinkles, a walker, and a hunched back asked a question, “Are those space ships or frog cards?”

Now, being in Los Angeles you never know what to expect (see my previous post), but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. “They’re space ships,” I answered. “Oh, because they look like frogs,” the old woman said. There were lobster and amphibious looking creatures on the cards, so she was probably seeing those. She continued, “You know, what happened to the frogs these days? They’re all going away. They’re just disappearing.”

I said something non-committal in my reply, still not sure what angle this woman was coming from, and she carried on to talk about frogs and how she paints them, and that she’s quite good at it too. I maintained eye contact, not wanting to be rude as it became clear this woman wasn’t crazy but just looking for someone to talk to. Looking at cards or reading some comics on the way home was far less important than donating 18 minutes of my time to an elderly person who needed an ear.

“They brought the fire brigade down my street this morning in Little Tokyo, so I had to flee to Pasadena for the day.” She imitated siren sounds then threw her hand away.

“Why are you going home now?” I asked.

“It’s getting dark out. You don’t want to walk around downtown at night all by yourself.”

Somehow the conversation shifted to family, and she mentioned that her daughter passed away four years ago at the age of 50. Even though she couldn’t swim, she was in the Navy for a while, and then moved on to other careers. She was a very smart girl, despite being born with defects, which prompted the father to split town while she was still an infant, leaving her mother to raise her all by herself. Having a daughter of my own, I can only imagine how difficult that must have been.

“She taught me everything I know,” she said.

“How did she pass away? Sorry if that’s too personal.”

“Oh no, not at all! She said it was her time to go right before she went. She had cancer. If something is bothering you, have it looked at. That’s what happened to her. She got it looked at too late, and now she’s gone. If she had done it earlier, she’d still be here today.”

Words to live by. By this time the train was approaching Union Station and it was time for me to depart.

“Well, it was nice meeting you. Keep trying to find out about those frogs,” I said.

“Oh, I will. You know, when I was a little girl I could find tadpoles everywhere. Now? Not so much. They’re just disappearing and nobody seems to care.”

“My name is Andy.”

“Mary. You take care now and have fun with whatever it is those are.”

“Oh, these?” I said, referencing the cards, “They’re just silly things. Nothing important.”

“Oh, no! They’re important to you! You enjoy them.”

“I will. And you keep painting, Mary!”

“I will! I’ll be famous one day. I’m not yet, but people tell me they love my paintings and I make a lot of them. Nobody knows my name yet, but they will.”

I then handed her the deck of Galactic Empires cards, which she graciously accepted. I gave her one last smile which she returned, and headed for the Red Line back to Hollywood. While I may have never seen her work, and will most likely never see her again, I will never forget 82 year old Mary and her sunny disposition.

…now that I think about it, what did happen to all the frogs?

Yesterday evening my lovely lady, who was pushing our baby girl, and I performed our weekly ritual of browsing the VHS tapes at one of LA’s more clean thrift stores, Out of the Closet.

My eyes were browsing a near complete collection of the first 38 Star Trek episodes from the 60s, when a late 50-something man, who smelled like a London public urinal, began shouting for cold water.

“Cold water! Where’s the cold water? I touched a hot iron! Cold Water! Do none of you speak English!? I NEED COLD WATER!” He jutted his hand out and marched up and down the used glassware isle. It was jarring to say the least, but to be fair, the place is run by two older Latino and Thai women who speak very broken English, who probably don’t put much effort into trying to understand shouting smelly guys. The man went on like this for the better part of 30 seconds, being ignored by pretty much everyone in the store as just another wacko on Hollywood Blvd. I admit, I covered up my daughter’s stroller just to be safe.

The guy’s long, stringy white hair was all aflutter as he bolted back and forth, now throughout the store, with his heated demands for cooled H2O to douse his singed appendage. “Do you not have a bathroom I can use? I touched a hot iron! Where’s the water!?” the man frantically continued. At this point, any sort of worry on my part dissipated. The guy was clearly crazy, but how in the fuck could he have touched a hot iron in a thrift store? That’s just ridiculous! All that kind of stuff is sitting in a huge heap on a wooden table.

The ladies at the counter, enduring his shouts and pointed threats to sue, said that they had no public bathroom and told him to leave. After a few more shouted complaints, many more threats of financial compensation, and the exclamation, “I didn’t even know it was there! I didn’t even see it!” The man stormed out of the store, clearly pissed. After his departure, the Thai woman briskly walked to the accused object. She made an exclamation of surprise; somebody trolled Out of the Closet- the iron was hot! The crazy guy was looking for something that wasn’t an iron when he got cooked. Poor fella.

After paying $1 for my “Star Trek: The Galileo Seven” VHS and $2.50 for a Kirkman and Scott “Baby Blues” collected comic book (anyone who has kids should read them) for my lady, I handed the woman at the register my card, telling her to call if the guy followed through on his threat. Out of the Closet is known for donating a large chunk of their proceeds to A.I.D.S. research, and are strong proponents of the homosexual community. They’re good people. Although, I highly doubt that guy will follow through on his threat to sue. Hot iron victims are typically non-committal.

Well, hello everyone! Wow, it has been a long, long time since I posted anything on this blog. As you’ve probably [not even] noticed, MintConditionPublishing.com is no more and this place will forever be known as NoPantsRomance.com. Why the change? Because MCP was a stupid domain name for the content posted here. How did you all let me get away with that for over three years? NoPantsRomance.com sounds so much better. I feel like claiming that one was $25 well spent.

So. Here we are. Meeting once more on the interweb, as my thoughts, now written in the past, transcend into your brain. Damn you have a sexy brain. Reminds me of those pocketless jeans girls used to wear all the time in the early 2000s. Good stuff.

Anyway, where have I been? Honestly, I have no idea. There’s no good reason why I haven’t posted anything since September 2009. Almost two years is a long-ass time to not post on a blog. It’s not like it takes much effort. But lets not get buried in what has already transpired. Let us look ahead, my friends. What can you expect from me moving forward? I have absolutely no fucking clue. I know I want to get back into covering the Bills and Sabres. Maybe the Falcons. If I get really ambitious, perhaps the LA Kings too, but that’s doubtful. Probably not a lot of comic book related stuff though; you can find all of my musings in that genre here. I’ll be posting many more photos of my everyday life here in Los Angeles, and the encounters that transpire therein. Of course, that will most likely include lots of weird shit. There’s tons of that out here. I’ll probably get passionate and political at times too, and maybe, if I’m feeling frothy, a poem will slip in here and there. We shall see.

Just don’t expect any type of formula or set schedule or anything. The last thing I want is another deadline. Just check back here to NoPantsRomance.com for a whole lotta random stuff. If I don’t update enough for your impatient buns, head over to my other site, ComicAttack.net. You can be amused there for hours.

Welcome back my friends. It’s good to see you all once again.

Now that the X-Men Power Rankings are completed, I’m sure you’ve noticed a few characters were omitted from the list. Characters who in current Marvel 616 continuity are either dead, in comic book limbo since the Messiah Complex event began, or have only recently reappeared in comics after the Power Rankings had already begun.

So, here we are with the appendices- a place to briefly discuss these characters who didn’t make the list and where they would have been placed if they had. Lets keep rolling with our fourth Appendix!

darkwolverine76varDaken: Akihiro is the son of Wolverine and the Japanese woman, Itsu. Yes, Wolverine has a son… crazy, right? To be blunt Daken is one bad ass mo fo. He’s every bit as savage as his father with a little more tact than Logan had at his age (whatever that may be). He has a poor relationship with Logan as he’s pissed that his father never played a role in his life and never made an effort to contact him (in Wolverine’s defense he had no idea Daken even existed). Currently Daken has donned the alias of ‘Wolverine,’ and the costume to go with it, as a member of Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers while simultaneously serving as a leading member of the Dark X-Men. Apparently he follows in his father’s footsteps in more ways than one.

Powers: Like Logan, Daken’s power set is a long laundry list that includes: a regenerative healing factor, enhanced sight, smell and hearing, superhuman reflexes and stamina, pheromone control, telepathic immunity, and he’s a master martial artist. He has three retractable bone claws and while they may not be fused with adamantium, two of them (that protrude from his wrists) are laced with shards of the Muramasa Blade; the only known weapon that can kill Wolverine. Daken was vetoed from the Rankings because he isn’t an X-Man, but he would have made it to the low 20′s.

First Appearance: Wolverine Origins #10, 2007.

250px-Avalanche_XCorpsAvalanche: Dominikos Ioannis Petrakis used to be one of those laughable X-villains, almost always being on the receiving end of a can o’whoop ass from the X-Men. However, since M-Day Avalanche has changed his tune, straying from a life of crime and going legit; he’s now the owner of the mutant-friendly bar, Nick’s, in San Francisco. Most recently in the Utopia story line Dominikos took on two heavy hitters in Ares, who choked him out, and then Daken, who nearly hacked him in half. Presently he is a prisoner of Norman Osborn’s Dark X-Men. Although Avalanche has yet to show his true power potential he can be very destructive when using his abilities. He wasn’t ranked because while he may no longer be a villain, he’s not an X-Man either. Had Dominikos made the list he would have been placed somewhere in the low 50′s.

Powers: Avalanche can generate powerful waves of vibrations from his hands that can completely destroy inorganic objects. When his powers are directed towards larger structures, such as tall buildings, the effects are very similar to that of an earthquake or avalanche. Unless they are somehow reflected back at him, Avalanche is immune to the effects of his own powers. While the full extent of his abilities are unknown, he has yet to prove that he is capable of destroying something as large as an entire city.

First Appearance: X-Men #141, 1981.

686169-quick_largeQuicksilver: Pietro Maximoff, the son of Magneto and brother to the Scarlet Witch and Polaris, was omitted from the Power Rankings because he’s not only an X-team but his appearances since Messiah Complex concluded have been very limited. In 2008 there was the one-shot, X-Factor: The Quick and the Dead where Pietro regained his powers and rescued an innocent person; an action that sparked the desire to be a hero once more. Later he showed up in Mighty Avengers where he was proven innocent of his former crimes. He would have been ranked between #24 and #22.

Powers: Quicksilver’s primary ability is super speed; he can at least reach Mach 4 (3,080 mph) and in all likelihood can go even faster. While running he is immune to the effects of friction, requires a reduced level of oxygen, and is not affected by impacts upon his body. Pietro has enhanced strength (being able to lift 1,000 lbs and can press 1 ton with his legs) and is invisible to precognition. Despite his impulsiveness and mental instability, Quicksilver is intellectually talented and able to think at incredibly fast speeds. He’s also a skilled hand to hand combatant.

First Appearance: X-Men #4, 1964.

Come back to MintConditionPublishing.com for more Appendices!

Now that the X-Men Power Rankings are completed, I’m sure you’ve noticed a few characters were omitted from the list. Characters who in current Marvel 616 continuity are either dead, in comic book limbo since the Messiah Complex event began, or have only recently reappeared in comics after the Power Rankings had already begun.

So, here we are with the appendices- a place to briefly discuss these characters who didn’t make the list and where they would have been placed if they had. Check out the third appendix below!

omegaOmega Sentinel: Karima Shapandar missed the Power Rankings because only heroes were ranked and this Prime Sentinel (a human who has been transformed into one of the mutant killing machines) was a member of the Marauders during Messiah Complex. She then fell in with the Acolytes after the event. Post X-Men Legacy #225 (where Charles Xavier single-handedly dismantled the Acolytes’ base defenses and disbanded the team without delivering a single blow) Karima relocated to San Francisco where it has yet to be determined if she has officially fallen back in with the X-Men. Given her power set I would have ranked her between #20 and #16.

Powers: Since Karima is fitted with the Omega-Prime Sentinel nanite technology, she is granted a vast array of abilities. She has enhanced strength, speed, endurance, and reflexes, as well as the ability to fly and repair any damage that she may receive. Upon completing these repairs she becomes stronger and more durable than she was before the damage. Technopathy allows her to control machines on a limited scale and life support technology makes her extremely difficult to ‘kill.’ Since Karima is a sentinel, she also has an arsenal of weapons concealed within her.

First Appearance: X-Men Unlimited #27, 2000.

blindfodlBlindfold: This is kind of embarrassing on my part but Blindfold was omitted because… well… I forgot about her. Oops. She made a few appearances in the X-story lines preceding Messiah Complex and then showed up as a major player in Young X-Men, but for whatever reason she totally slipped my mind while formulating the rankings. I guess she’s just one of those easily forgettable characters.

Powers: Despite being physically blind (her eye sockets are completely covered with skin) Ruth Aldine’s primary power is precognition; the ability to see forsee events destined to occur and experience visions about these events. Her powers are similar to those of Layla Miller who ‘knows stuff,’ but to a slightly lesser (and less interesting) extent. Also, Blindfold is a bit more dramatic with her delivery about said events. She is retrocognitive in that she can see the past, and clairvoyance allows her to visualize far off places and events and even visualize her present surroundings. Possessing a low level of telepathy, Ruth can read minds and dreams but is unable to send thoughts to others. While she isn’t immune to psychic attacks she is protected from telepathic control or possession and her mind cannot be read telepathically. Due to her visions being very cryptic and not immediately useful in addition to her lack of any offensive power, Blindfold would have been ranked at #74… maybe even #75.

First Appearance: Astonishing X-Men #7, 2005.

huskHusk: Paige Guthrie is another one of those characters who has been lost in comic book limbo for a few years. She was last seen post Messiah Complex in the mini series Divided We Stand where all she did was pick up her brother, Sam Guthrie, and drive him home for a short visit. It would appear that she has decided to stay in Kentucky with her family and that her romance with Warren Worthington III has come to an end.

Powers: Husk’s ability is formally called Transitional Omni-morph Husking which essentially means that she can change her body to imitate any solidity that she is familiar with (that matches her body mass). This includes (but is not limited to) adamantium, rubber, diamond, granite, glass, wood, and brick. Paige can maintain her husk form for about an hour before being forced back to her flesh and blood state. She can ‘husk away’ smaller injuries but the effects of more serious wounds cannot be shed. A side effect of her powers is that when husking she sheds her clothes, meaning that upon reverting back to her original form she is buck ass nekked. Husk would have been ranked in the high 40′s or the low 50′s.

First Appearance: New Mutants #42, 1986.

Keep checking back for more Appendices!

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