In the February 2013 “Previews” catalogue, which solicits new comic book releases for April, DC Comics revealed their “WTF Certified” marketing ploy, expected to traverse the entire New 52 line-up. The initiative boasts a WTF (“What the F**k!”) moment in every issue published that month, stating each one is “going to leave readers in a state of shock.”
While flipping through the catalogue, I’ve taken my best guesses as to what these “WTF Certified” revelations may be for a bunch of titles (as initially tweeted on my little blue bird feed), listing the first thing that came to mind upon seeing the cover or reading the solicit text. Some are good, most are bad, but they’ll all leave you saying “What the f**k!?” So grab your copy of today’s newly pressed “Previews” catalogue and follow along on pages 81-129 or by clicking here!
WARNING: Swearing ahead!
“Justice League” #19
-The “WTF Certified” thing DC is touting for April sounds pretty lame. Each issue they put out that month contains a #WTF moment? OoOok…
-Green Arrow #19 #WTFCertified moment: it’s not cancelled by #20 and Jeff Lemire is staying on at least through to #21. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!
-Justice League of America’s Vibe #3 #WTFCertified moment: it’s announced at the end his series won’t be cancelled at #8, but #10. WHAT THE FUCK!?!???!?
-Justice League #19 #WTFCertified moment: Superman beats Aquaman at the backstroke. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!? Who saw that one coming!
“Aquaman” #19
-Aquaman #19 #WTFCertified moment: The Ice King’s responsible for blue flavored freezie pops tasting so delicious. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!
-Savage Hawkman #19 #WTFCertified moment: The announcement Rob Liefeld’s back on writing AND art duties with #20. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
-DC Universe Presents #19 #WTFCertified moment: With a giant fucking sword run straight through Flash on the cover, this series actually sells a copy off the shelf. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?
“DC Universe Presents” #19
-The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Man #19 #WTFCertifiedmoment: THIS SERIES IS STILL BEING PUBLISHED!? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
-Worlds’ Finest #11 #WTFCertified moment: Power Girl goes black and doesn’t go back. WHAT THE F — wait, that makes sense.
-Action Comics #19 #WTFCertified moment: The guy who wrote Marvel’s “Shadowland” is now writing a flagship DC title? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?
-Superman #19 #WTFCertified moment: Superman goes an entire issue WITHOUT WEARING A CAPE. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
“Worlds’ Finest” #11
-Talon #7 #WTFCertified moment: Calvin Rose gets the shit kicked out of him on the cover of his own book yet again. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
-Batman the Dark Knight #19 #WTFCertified moment: People still buy this book despite clearly being the worst of the Bat lot. WHAT THE FUCK!?
-Detective Comics #19 #WTFCertified moment: John Layman quits Image comics and “Chew” to write this series forever. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!!
-Catwoman #19 #WTFCertified moment: Nope, with a cover like that, this one’s too damn easy.
“Superman” #19
-Birds of Prey #19 #WTFCertified moment: Batgirl and company present an all mime issue! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?
-Batwing #19 #WTFCertified moment: Batwing dies at the end. WHAT THE F — oh, wait. He’s not caucasian. We all saw that one coming.
-Nightwing #19 #WTFCertified moment: It’s revealed the blue costume never existed. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!!????!!!? MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED!
-Red Hood and the Outlaws 19 #WTFCertified moment: Starfire’s new costume, a full-body jumpsuit, fuses to her body — PERMANENTLY. WHAT THE FUCK!?!
“Talon” #7
-Green Lantern #19 #WTFCertified moment: Introducing the Poop Brown Lantern Corps! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
-Green Lantern Corps #19 #WTFCertified moment: Somebody actually cares about Guy Gardner for 5 seconds. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
-Green Lantern New Guardians #19 #WTFCertified moment: With that ridiculous faceplate, it’s revealed Kyle is truly RoboCop. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
-Red Lanterns #19 #WTFCertified moment: That stupid cat kills every Lantern that isn’t Green, Red or Blue. WHAT THE F — I mean, THANK YOU!!!
“Catwoman” #19
-Phantom Stranger #7 #WTFCertified moment: The title character finally speaks a sentence that isn’t cryptic bullshit. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!
-Sword of Sorcery #7 #WTFCertified moment: Nobody’s reading this, are they? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!???
-Animal Man #19 #WTFCertified moment: The Rot does not appear, nor is mentioned in any way, shape or form during this issue. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
-Swamp Thing #19 #WTFCertified moment: “Charles Soule” is revealed to be a nom de plume of Scott Snyder. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!!?!?
“Birds of Prey” #19
-Dial H #11 #WTFCertified moment: People who have read all 11 issues still have no idea what’s going on. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
-Demon Knights #19 #WTFCertified moment: X-O Manowar shows up, blasting the shit out of everyone. WHAT THE F — no. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-I Vampire #19 #WTFCertified moment: This is the final issue while “Firestorm” & “Suicide Squad” continue publication. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!
“Batman” #19
-Threshold #4: This issue actually doesn’t get a #WTFCertified moment considering nobody read #1-3.
-Suicide Squad #19 #WTFCertified moment: Everyone finally commits suicide, ending the series. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
-Legion of Super-Heroes #19 #WTFCertified moment: Legion goes back to the 80s to prevent the creation of any more crappy “Legion” comics after that time. WHAT THE FUCK!
-Teen Titans #19 #WTFCertified moment: In a single “Flashpoint-esque” stroke, it’s as if this series never existed. THANK FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!
-The Ravagers #11 #WTFCertified moment: See the WTF Certified moment for “Teen Titans” #19.
-And that’s that. Is your mind blown by all these insane #WTFCertifiedmoments? MINE SURE IS! I need a mint.
-Truth be told though, #WTFCertified can be cool. The “Batman” #19 cover makes you guess and the belief in Lemire’s “Green Arrow” feels legit.
-Juan Jose Ryp is an artist who slips under the radar — I’ll buy “Katana” #3 for the cover alone. The blade… #WTFCertified?
-I want “Katana” to be successful. She’s an exciting, energetic character who’s unpredictably precise — Ann Nocenti has a great opportunity to succeed where the latest “Huntress” miniseries failed.
Which #WTFCertified issues will you be reading?
January 31, 2013 at 3:23 pm
Wow… lots of love for DC’s “New 52.”
J/K.
February 4, 2013 at 2:37 am
Hahaha — I’m really into, in no particular order: “Animal Man,” “Aquaman,” “Swamp Thing,” “Supergirl,” “Sword of Sorcery,” “Batman,” “Batman and Robin” & “Talon.”
Sometimes “Birds of Prey,” “Justice League” and “Justice League Dark.”
I have high hopes for “Katana” and Jeff Lemire’s spin on “Green Arrow.”
RIP “Frankenstein” & “Captain Atom.”
January 31, 2013 at 11:25 pm
Must remember not to be drinking coffee while reading this blog, as not to propel it forcefully all over the desk from laughter. Loved it.
I’m not reading anything by DC at the moment (scratch that, I have a Fables TPB on the read pile, and Steve Niles’ Lot 13). Bailed on them totally and completely after the whole Before Watchmen thing . . . I would’ve stuck with Batman and Swamp Thing had they not dripped into the crossover well. That, and I’ve read all these blood-soaked and sex-drenched spandex stories back in the 1990s when Rob Liefeld and cohorts did them the first time around. It’s sad, I love a lot of their characters, I just can’t get behind this stuff.
WTF pretty much sums it up. Maybe they need to make sure Alan Moore’s not sneaking in the offices and dumping LSD in the watercoolers in retribution.
February 4, 2013 at 3:16 am
Fair enough.
I actually don’t mind mini-events like “Rotworld,” “Throne of Atlantis” and “Death of the Family.” When the story is spread throughout titles of the same family, it’s cool for continuity and the creation of a larger universe.
Like with any event, read the main book(s) and choose your tie-ins wisely!
Side question — what’s your preferred brew?
February 7, 2013 at 11:11 pm
I think that’s inherently the problem, though, that family mentality. I’m not saying it’s not a bad business strategy, per se, but I think each family should have one central title that has a killer creative team and tries to stay self-contained, for the reader who doesn’t want to delve into multiple iterations of similar characters. That was what made me quit the Bat-books years ago, and that was when they had really good across-the-board talent, a far cry from the B and C listers they have now.
In a way, it doesn’t make sense: the uber-fans are already buying the whole line, so trying to twist the arm of the middle-of-the-road fans who want just one book with a certain character just results them in leaving in frustration. You can’t force uber-fandom on someone, that has to grow over time, you put out one killer book and sell them on that and then they get curious and start to experiment.
Then again, if the industry had good business sense, it would be in a better position.
Right now, I’m all about the Dark Magick from Green Mountain. I used to be kinda snobby and ground beans, but as much as I hate to admit it, loving the Keurig and the single-serve cups. Just getting lazy, I guess . . .
February 10, 2013 at 2:56 pm
I would counter point you only need to read “Batman” in the Bat-line and can skip the rest. That is the central, core Bat-title.
Not so for “Throne” where it literally crosses over with part 1 being in “Aquaman,” part 2 in “Justice League,” etc., etc.
I guess the counter to this would be “Aquaman” actually is a solid read, so it’s DC’s way of getting people who read “JL,” which I would say is a majority of DC readers, to give this B list character’s book a shot. “Aquaman” does deserve more readers — it’s awesome! That’s also the job of the retailer though, to present it to his customers as something worthwhile.
As a retailer, I think the industry is in the best shape since I started working in comics in 2009. We’re ALWAYS busy — that wasn’t the case 4 years ago. Of course, we are located in a greater metropolitan area, so that helps.
Dark Magick from Green Mountain — tracking this down!